Saturday, October 24, 2009

SAN FRANCISCO: Chloe speaks..."prostitution"?

How do you feel about the word "prostitution"? 

According to Webster's it has a couple of meanings:

# The act or practice of engaging in sex acts for hire.
# The act or an instance of offering or devoting one's talent to an unworthy use or cause.

I can't really argue with the first one.  Yes, that's what I do - in the most perfunctory sense.  Although it reduces, if not flat out eliminates, the hugely emotional aspect of the work I do.  Sex is rarely, if ever, just sex - especially when there are specific expectations of how one should look, act, and perform. 

As cliche as it sounds, we actually do a lot more in my sessions than just suck cock or fuck.  We talk.  I listen.  I advise.  I stimulate the imagination.  I ask questions.  I engage their minds as well as their bodies, and hopefully forge a connection between the two, which is not a natural state for most men.  And not to sound too kumbaya, because I am NOT that kind of person, but we share a sacred space: my clients with me are often at their most open, yet ironically private and vulnerable, place.

 In order to be good at what I do, I have had to teach myself the art of non-judgement.  I do not judge people or their sexual attractiveness based on body size, dick size, age, weight, skin color, hairiness, smoothness - basically all the things that people have fetishized and formed into a small checklist in their heads about what constitutes a person's sexual worth or fuckability. 

As a true professional, I have eliminated those checklists and taught myself to be able to find something attractive about everyone.  Imagine what a cool world we could live in if everybody did a bit of the same.  So it is with this in mind that I truly take offense at the second definition of "prostitution."  It suggests that if I'm considered attractive and people want to have sex with me, and I have sex with someone considered ugly, or older or obese or physically disabled, then I am doing something beneath me; when, in fact, it's really quite the opposite. 

I think it's transcendent and spiritually-fulfilling, actually.  I have brought immense pleasure to someone else who might never have otherwise been allowed to experience his/her fantasy.  It's not completely selfless, because I've profited financially, but it's definitely a symbiotic relationship.

 I often challenge people who are outwardly and aggressively against sex work or brutishly disdainful of sex workers with the question: "Do you think everyone has a RIGHT to a sex life?"  They almost always say yes.  Then I find the most unattractive person (by society's standards) within viewing distance and ask, "Do you want to have sex with him/her?"  When they say no, and they always do, I say that I do and we should be able to have sex and give each other pleasure because everyone deserves to feel those amazing feelings associated with sex.  EVERYONE, not just the people that turn us on based on a culturally-based, externally-defined checklist! 

Evolution makes us human; Sex makes us humane.

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